i really don’t know what to feel. I am afraid, angry and alone. I know I shouldn’t be held responsible for your well being. I mean, you used me. I spend hours trying to please you, and god know whats wrong with me.

I know that for a fact, if I could survive this weekend, I could probably survive weeks to come. I mean, I am going to be busy right? I’m going to be busy with my projects, assignment, friends, organizing events, reading tonnes of books. So yeah. I am going to be busy. 

The back of my neck still hurts. The bruise on my leg is still there. Luckily the redness on my cheek fades soon enough after you slap me. I’m being abused and used by you. I’m afraid, and I couldn’t say it out loud. I’m afraid the reality is going to engulf me and send me falling into the spirals of depression. Again. I don’t need that.  

Even after all this, I’m still thinking ‘how could you’. What kind of man uses a girl for money, company, sex, food, her brain and what else. You. I’m so blind. And the best part being: me not missing you at all. 

I wish I have people who I can fall back to. 

juliasegal:

talktofrank:

Someone has printed out posters saying, “wear a smile, it’s a beautiful day.” and stuck them all around town. I think whoever this person is, they are wonderful. Although the ink had run and it was raining, that little reminder was so incredibly precious and I genuinely felt my heart warm, and I hope others saw it in the way that I saw it. 
It’s gestures like these that give me so much hope.